Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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