now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
