saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
