I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
