I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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