How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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