It's Friday. Sex?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
