i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
