Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
