this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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