Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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