Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
