garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
