I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
