While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
