erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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