I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
