it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
