on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
