I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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