I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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