The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
