Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
