If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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