is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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