yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
