god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
