So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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