I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
