apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
