i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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