Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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