If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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