you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
