I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
