how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
