i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
