His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
