Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
