is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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