I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
