Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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