the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
