After last night, I could never be a politician.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
