maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
