You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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