y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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