You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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