We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
