Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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