and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
