Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
